I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We left the knife in your bed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
