Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
