never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
