So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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