You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
