Me. At least after what I've been through.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
