Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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