quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
