That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
