the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Boobs speak an international language.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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