He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
is it fun? or sober?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
