but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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