Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
