worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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