im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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