I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
