It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
