idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
