I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you inspire me to be a worse person
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
