There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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