did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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