I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
