That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
