So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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