someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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