I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
