Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So squirting runs in the family.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
