I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
