"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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