In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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