Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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