Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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