5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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