Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
