I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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