so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
