Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
