the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
