i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize