How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize