I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
