I want to walk on stilts...naked
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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