Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize