i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize