She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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