She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
