I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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