This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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