i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
