What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
