reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
