Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
