you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
