so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
