i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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