I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You had me at "let me see your balls"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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