I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
