i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
