It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
