We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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