biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
